Gratitude Shame - what it is and how to release it!

Have you ever felt "gratitude shame?" Maybe you've never heard that term - that's because I created it.

You see, gratitude and your desire for growth/change/more are not mutually exclusive. They can live together. And yet, we, especially women, hold ourselves to a standard that I believe is not serving us. A requirement from our culture and ourselves that we must be happy and grateful at all times.

In the last few weeks, I have been feeling the push and pull that comes with seeing the change you want in your life but not being there yet. Knowing what I want is still in-progress and feeling frustrated that I am not at the next level yet. Awareness of my wonderful life but wanting something different. And then there was/is so. much. shame. So many times I kept telling myself "You have enough. You are already successful. Be happy with what you've got!" And some of these things are true, except when I use them as weapons against myself.

Of course, gratitude is deeply important, but it has to come from a true place in us. I would say if you feel grateful because you SHOULD it might not really be gratitude. It might be shame making you count your blessings until they don't feel like blessings anymore. Until they feel like the weight of expectations from others and ourselves.

So, how do we release gratitude shame? Here are a few ideas:
1. Remind yourself it's ok to be exactly what you are and feel exactly how you feel.
2. When/if you're doing a gratitude practice check in with your gut and intuition to see what your motivation is and if what you're saying/writing really resonates with you.
3. Ask shame to leave. Ask grace and wisdom to take its place.

I would love for you to tell me below about a recent time you've struggled with gratitude shame! I can't wait to lift you up and for us to say goodbye to shame and hello to true gratitude. And I can't wait to see you go for all of your dreams without any shame holding you back!

I love you and there is absolutely NOTHING you can do about it,



  • Kristen

    Thank you for this! I am struggling with this now and this is so helpful to read. 😌

  • Ella

    Love this! I couldn’t agree more. There’s nothing wrong with a gratitude practice but we need to be careful not to use it as another thing to hit ourselves over the head with.

  • Ella

    I love this! It reminds me of what Brené Brown says about comparative suffering. What is difficult for you is difficult period. It doesn’t help that “some people have it worse”.

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